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Fear of commitment-fear of abandonment

Some people get very scared by the idea of ​​entering into a relationship. Bond anxiety or separation anxiety makes it difficult for many to enter into a relationship. The cause of fear of commitment is the fear of losing. Loss can in this case have to do with several factors. Fear of losing yourself, losing freedom and contact with friends and family. But especially the fear of rejection and the loss of the loved one are the biggest factors in fear of commitment.

Fear of commitment

People with fear of commitment long for a relationship and love deep inside, but keep their distance because they are afraid. This fear may have arisen in the past. It is possible that someone felt rejected as a child and did not receive the attention and love that he needed. But fear of commitment can also be caused by a lost old relationship, which has made a scar.

Characteristics of fear of attachment

  • You have been alone for a long time and do not bother to meet anyone;
  • You date, but never come to a serious relationship;
  • You get a stuffy feeling about the idea of ​​a relationship;
  • You always keep a distance if you meet someone;
  • You prefer not to think about the future;
  • You prefer family and friends rather than your partner;
  • You find it difficult to become intimate.

Fear of abandonment

The fear of abandonment is the fear of being abandoned by the people you love. This form of anxiety is especially known in children, but also occurs in adults. In adult relationships, separation anxiety often causes problems in the relationship, because people with this fear demand a lot of attention and confirmation from their partner. This fear is caused by an insecure attachment, which often develops at a young age.

Characteristics of fear of abandonment

  • You are always looking for confirmation from your partner;
  • You always want attention from your partner;
  • You are often insecure;
  • You do not want to be alone;
  • You will be unhappy if you do not receive a response or confirmation.

How do you get rid of the fear?

These are fears that you do not have to carry with you all your life. It is possible to get rid of the fear and enter into a healthy and loving relationship. When you recognize and acknowledge attachment anxiety or separation anxiety in yourself, you have already taken the first step. Talk about your fear, break the pattern and allow yourself time to overcome the fear. Address negative thoughts and increase your confidence. In addition, communication and talking within the relationship is very important. To get over your fear you can seek help from a coach or psychologist.


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